hello goodbye

Sometimes there’s nothing to say.

When words become repetitive, and emotion disregarded…

All bets are off.

But I knew this already. What exactly did I expect to be different this time around? Minus titles, minus commitment…how could I have ever expected there to be any more…care…than when those elements existed?

Sometimes there’s nothing to do.

When actions are repeated and feelings hollow hearted…

I’m tired of the game.

I’m tired of trying to be the bigger person only to have the effort thrown back in my face.

I remember…

Laughter, talking, smiles, support.

I remember…

Wanting, aching, comfort, passion.

She remembers…

Sadness, hurt, pain, and remorse.

If only we remembered the same things…

About our yesterday.

But today…

Today I will not be an emotional punching bag…for that which can’t be forgotten. I will not be a filler for the days in-between. I will not paint her reflection gold while mine is banished in black…

Pushed farther and farther back.

I am bright and I am new.

I am worth worlds more than a few empty “How are yous.”

I am retiring this imaginary state of bliss. Ridding myself of the misery that might or might not be our very last kiss…

I will fight, I will vehemently push through..

Walking forward with only the memory of what I once knew.

One response to “hello goodbye

  1. I could feel that. 😦

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