I was in the middle of working when a text a friend of mine sent made me feel all sorts of inspired to blog.
What is with people and their NEED to be paired up. I’m not saying this is the case for all of you, even most of you…but the some that exist out there that need to be in a two-some, or pair to feel “ok” is who I am referring to. My friend was inquiring about a date, and when I used words like “lukewarm” and “so-so” she freaked out. Then she asked me if anything was wrong, as if me not running off to lesbian bliss with the first few single ladies that catch my eye is absurd. The fact is I’m really not looking.
I’m the opposite of looking. I’m like those ostriches you see in the cartoons…hiding my head in the ground, trying to get shit done without the distraction that is W O M E N. I spent 8 plus years of my young life couple up. I was focused more on who I was with another person so much I failed to see who I could be without someone. One relationship made me feel like a Bette & Tina variety show, trendy weho crash pad, designer wardrobe and resentment filled. Another relationship made Ike and Tina look kind to each other…and then my last “official” long-term relationship was so filled with storybook bliss and heartache I blew up like like a whale. Literally, I’m not kidding…that was a couple of years ago and I’ve had to work my ass off to get back in shape.
The moral of the story kiddos is during all the above what wavered more than my heart strings was my place in the world. I was focused on being a partner, and girlfriend, rather than my photography or art. I’m not saying it will always be as such…but until this isn’t the case (for me) I have got to steer clear of pretty faces like the plague. Not easy considering what I do for a living.
Either way, I’m done rambling. This really was a jumble of what was going on in my head at this exact moment…so enjoy the insight…or don’t. 😛