Monthly Archives: May 2011

sound and magic ♥ dark girls

My younger cousin, who was spending a year with us, came home from school crying one day. When I asked her what was wrong she looked up at me and said, “I hate being dirty.” I had no idea what she meant, but my mother quickly sat her down and had a heart to heart with her. I guess I was too young to understand what it all meant…but in time it came to surface…

I…was fortunate enough to grow up in a household in which I was taught that everything about myself was beautiful. When I wanted to experiment with my hair, be it braids, straightening, etc, it was a choice…not a necessity. And as far as my skin…I NEVER ever looked in the mirror and didn’t appreciate my skin color. In fact I loved it. But despite this, I did through experience become highly aware of the divide within my community regarding this issue. It wasn’t until junior high when a friend of mine said, “you’re that pretty brown, not too light, and not too dark.” that I realized why I hadn’t really been affected. I was in some sort of “safe zone” of a skin color. Wtf, ya know? What’s safe about color and the human being that inhabits it? Now, as an adult, I laugh at such an idea as safety within a neutral home on the spectrum of brown women. All I do know…is that I am, and have always been proud of being a black woman. I don’t care where my family came from, or what blood resides within me, I will always stand beside, behind, and with my sisters.

When this comes out…see it, feel it. And try to understand. The media is poison to young girls. We can prevent this by embracing our children and letting them know…beauty comes in all shades.

Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.

Whenever I’m on this topic I think about Spike Lee’s School Daze(one of my very favorite films). The entire movie is a musical satire of black culture and all of our ideals. One of my favorite scenes touches on the divide I spoke of before. Much more light-hearted of course…but informative all the same.


I went hiking today. It was amazing. Half way up I wanted to throw myself off the mountain because I was so out of it and exhausted…but it was worth it. And when those endorphins kicked in nothing mattered but that moment…and I wanted to feel that again every damn day.

Then somehow I ended up all around LA still in workout clothes. Walking in and out of places I never would have gone even with a plain t-shirt on. But there I was, no make up, hair tied up in retarded exercise clothes and I couldn’t care less.

It was a really good day. I felt very free and not my usual uptight self.

Now, on the other hand, is a different story…

I’m so so so tired. I have the biggest headache, and I’m super anxious. I keep wanting to break out in full on tears and I’m not really “upset” in the technical sense. I don’t think I am. :/

I’ve got this huge welt on my neck that’s itchy and red. I’ve got another one in my elbow area. Damn bug bites. I thoouughht I managed to have an awesome hike minus one freaking bite. But no, not possible. Pssshh.


I miss someone really bad right now as well. And I want nothing more than to melt into her and get out of my head.

Fuck you distance.

I seem to be allergic to falling for girls within my own zip-code.

Nights like tonight remind me why this is annoying. Or can be…

Nights like tonight also remind me that I have issues…

I’ve got this messed up idea that I can love a beautiful girl…and only I should want to look at her. Then my instincts want to put her in a box…tucked away from anyone else’s eyes when I feel too many are watching. But that’s the thing about physical beauty…people are always watching and wanting and watching. And I’d be lying to myself if I said a little of that wasn’t appealing in the girls I end up with…the fact that what is mine…is “wanted.” But despite the want being literal, visual, or figurative or even for mere inspiration…I grow into this monster.

I hate the monster, and I hate that stupid box it owns…

I mean…mostly it’s reserved, or only acts out in spurts before I quiet it. But…like…people are not fucking trophies you lock up and only share behind a shatter proof glass case.



I wonder if I can get one of those bad boys life sized and on wheels? If it was cozy and had a chair inside maybe she wouldn’t mind staying in there 60% of the time. The other 40 I’d let her out for cuddling and sex.

Just say’n.


Told you I had issues.

sound and magic ♥ motivation

I’m not really a fan of Kelly, or Lil Wayne….but this song….

is damn sexy. It reminds me of old school Ginuwine and Aaliyah….

And while I’m on the topic of oldschool….mmmm. Fuck yeah.

…that little two step at 3:55, yes yes. always. ♥ reveal

A few weeks ago I shot for a company called Reveal. They carry wallets, tech and mobile accessories – including earbuds and headphones, iPad and iPhone purses and sleeves. All styles are 100% eco-friendly, made from sustainable materials like bamboo or beechwood or from materials made from recycled plastic water bottles. We shot at Venice Beach and up in the Malibu Canyons. It was one of the most fun shoots I’ve ever had. Go team reveal! 😛

See the rest on my site: under the “lookbook – reveal” tab.

Models: Kate Compton, Jessica Today, Danny Axley
MUA & Hair: Marla Verdugo

doing what I do…

Me…shooting Reveal campaign & lookbook…

Photo: Marla Verdugo

sound and magic ♥ treats

I was browsing some images from the magazine “treats” when I happened upon model Heather d. once again. As well as some pretty nifty videos. And she’s too much of a looker not to share with you all!

HEATHER – TREATS! Screen Test from on Vimeo.

Heather D. Videtorial from Khoa Bui on Vimeo.

sound and magic ♥ girls dancing for girls, yum