jonesing

…It was one of those nights.

Or it has been one of those nights, for me.

It’s around 3am…a little past, same difference. I’ve been working all day/night…most of it anyways. But I just couldn’t kick this “off” feeling I’ve had the past few days. The worst of which was surely today/tonight. And I’ve been stuffing it and stuffing it in, attempting to be steel, or some kind of robot without a heart…or soul. Tonight though, my emotions got the best of me…a combo of stress about work/career, life choices, home, feeling guilty for having a pretty good life and being unsettled about it when some people have it far worse, more stress about work, confusion, questioning, questioning, sadness, confusion, sadness…and then it all landed on a big whopping kaboom of missing my mom…and I was a mess.

I contemplated staying in a fetal position on the bathroom floor for a while, in my own little bubble, where no one could bear witness to this human side of me. But instead I wanted to…needed to hear your voice. I had no idea what I would say once I woke you from your insanely, should be illegal, it’s so comfy, tempur-pedic mattress, slumber. But after, about 2, maybe 3 calls…cuz you’re always so knocked out…but once you picked up I felt 100 times better even in tears. The comfort of being able to turn off my robot with you…

Priceless.

I don’t know how someone so young can teach me so many things about myself in such a short time.

But you have…

You do.

Everyday.

And I’m the one who’s thankful we came into each other’s lives.

You see….you made all those sad blogs happy ones now! ❤

Hopefully all of you readers find my happy heart writing as entertaining as my crappy sad heart whining. 😛

Goodnight. Well, not really…back to work for me. I was just thinking all this so I thought…why not share.

7 responses to “jonesing

  1. Of course! Happy blogs, means a happy person, which is certainly a good thing! 🙂

  2. So first off, you know that you should have been enjoying my tempur-pedic swedish sleep system™ with me, second, your readers better be content with your happiness, or i’ll make them.
    you’re a beautiful woman, and deserve a beautiful life.
    and open arms, not a bathroom floor, m’dear.

    ❤ you

  3. This is beautiful tash. You guys sound cute I’m jealous! =P

  4. guess this means you’re off the market? i’m playing. good luck to you guys.

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