Some moments are really refreshing. Especially when you feel parts of yourself being put back together…not in the superficial forced kind if way, but in the lightweight lack of angst sort of way.
I was just talking to my roommate about the topic but she fell asleep. So I figured, hey, it’s almost 5am, my eyes hurt, and I’m exhausted…I must unravel this through verbiage. So here I am…
I feel good right now. I realized today just how human we all are, and how superhuman I occasionally make some out to be. Idk exactly what did it…and I’m in no way “cured.” But I am unchained…from myself.
I am free from the weight of my own torchered soul.
Any other day I would have cared. Any other day so many little stupid things would still matter. But right now I could care less. Right now I’m smiling and weightless and content in…the idea of…nothingness.
There is still this part of me that carries that feeling somewhere in my heart. Only now that feeling isn’t suffocating me. Now nothing is suffocating me. I can carry it…and not want or need it. I can carry it until it no longer exists. And carry it I will. I’ll remember it as this precious entity that inspired many a dramatic monologue…in addition to poetry and art in motion. Distress and theatrics at their best.
So I will applaud my resilient heart for it’s efforts, but I will release it from some of it’s strain.
I can see again.