It’s really quiet now. Well aside from the music I have playing and the sound of my legs swooshing around in the water…
Jennifer is asleep in her bed, and Serge is asleep in my bed, and I’m in here, alone in the bathtub…alone with my thoughts.
I think I’d like to go to sleep, soon ideally…but I’m not really in a “sleepover” share a bed mood so maybe I’ll go crash on the couch. Or maybe I’ll fall asleep in the tub… Eh. Probably not a good idea if I want to be breathing in the morning.
My back is killing me again. Though the volume in my head is loud enough I’m barely noticing.
Just before this I was writing an email, but I deleted it. Then I wrote another…and deleted that too. It feels strange not knowing what to say to someone…you once wanted to say everything too. And now…you feel… I feel like an intruder. A stranger…maybe? I think. IDK. Why am I asking myself questions? Hmm. I did it again.
I’ve been in the bath far too long. Normal people don’t take baths as long as I do. But…
You guys already know about me and normal.
I should get out.
I should do a lot of things.
Is it unfair getting to know someone new when the deepest parts of you are still undoing pieces of someone else? Or is that just life…and…
I mean it’s not like I technically even “had” these pieces to begin with.
Why the hell does it continue to feel so hard to remove…from inside me…
OMG…and why do I keep asking myself non rhetorical questions!?
I’m not even making sense.
The water’s killing my brain cells.
I’ve gotta get outta this tub.