our father

Apparently I’m a nun.

Idk that I find this complimentary or…otherwise.

Hmmm.

Seriously.

I mean, ok…I WILL NOT just slut it up with anyone….I don’t give a flying F.U.C.K how attractive I find them. I have to find you extremely appealing to even want to do anything remotely physical with you. This is not to say I don’t have “fun” occasionally when the moment calls for it. I’m not a complete and utter prude.

Just a nun…seemingly so. What…is that…one step down from prude on the holy grail of slutdome?

Well, whatever the case I’m so not interested in meaningless bed wrestling. Even in the newest of scenarios there can be slight meaning, for me anyway. In some way or another..somehow. Sometimes you don’t even know this until after the fact. Most of the time I’d like to think…I can tell if I’m feeling someone for more than a quick game of tonsil hockey and barefoot bingo. But….sometimes…shit happens.

I just don’t like to step in a lot of shit.

So if I’m a nun….so be it.

“Why didn’t you $%#& her?!

Whhhhhat kind of question is that????? I mean really.

Ummm because…

Just because. I’m a lady dammit.

Would I really be more fun if I dropped my drawers for everyone I thought was attractive or found me attractive? Like “hey there handsome beautiful, wanna have a go?”

Even at 16, 18, and my early 20s I wasn’t like that. I was boy crazy to put it mildly but I still wasn’t promiscuous. Then when I started dating women I calmed down even more. If I was still straight…whatever I was…bi, “free” I would have been married by now I think. No joke. I’m not sure what changed along the years…but I’m not ready to be “settled” at least I don’t think. In a relationship, maybe. But “settled” eh…

Not sure.

Maybe it’s because the women I’m attracted to have gotten younger and younger and how can I settle with those that are just blossoming? Even the women my age I’ve been with are fucking peter pan at heart.

Damn.

I could keep typing…but I need to leave. Too much to do. So much to say, but I just started feeling strange…

Reflecting is…odd….and unsettling when you hit a soft chord.

Perhaps I’ll revisit this subject another time.

5 responses to “our father

  1. Don’t ever change who you are or compromise your morals.

  2. Your realness is beautiful.

  3. I love the way you write.

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