Monthly Archives: January 2011

major minor

I’m exhausted but I don’t really “feel” like going to bed. I was in the middle of re-working my fee estimates…which is an extremely technical mathematics game…and not very fun. Of course I waited till last minute to do this, seeing as how I spent 75% of my weekend editing, and the other 25% socializing. I really should have had it all done, but here I am in bed at 4am…with red eyes yawning every other sentence I type of this blog.

Possible blog?

….I never know till I’m finished.

How can one be exhausted but not tired? Weird. I shooouuld sleep though. I have a meeting with a client early afternoon and I wouldn’t want to scare them with fright face from lack of sleep. Thankfully it’s an existing client who let’s me do what I want usually. Most of my look-book clients do and thank god. I just don’t get along too well with other control freaks, but I play nice when need be. It’s my bread and butter so I have to.

And while I’m on the subject, a number of you younger photogs have written me with questions about how to make a living with your photography. I’m sorry I haven’t found the time to reply to so many of you. But what I would say while on the topic is find your niche, that’s #1. Don’t try to do too many things. I personally shoot a few different genres for personal reasons, not business. Another thing you’ll notice is I don’t shoot as many editorials as I have in the past.

Photography fact: as flashy and nice as it is to have a portfolio packed with tears, eds rarely pay. Not unless you’re a more recognized photographer, and even then some of them do it for the exposure. Similar to new models walking a big designer runway for little to no pay. So don’t stress yourself out about glossy pages if that’s not your thing. Not to say I’ve never had paying eds as a lesser know photog. It’s possible. Just RARE and usually not more than the actual cost to produce the shoot. So be selective. I mix it up now because I’ve learned how to balance it. But I’ve made my living mostly from new and independent designers.

You just have to find your own voice. Your “style” and signature…and that will determine your clientele. I try to throw in a good number of personal shoots every couple of months to keep from getting bored. Plus it allows me room to breath and experiment.

So work…and play, if you can.

Idk where this hobby turned into my career but I’m thankful it has. My life is much different then I imagined it would be…back when I submitted my portfolio of fashion sketches to OTIS. Fashion Design is the most intensive program there. They don’t fuck around. But little did I know the course I bullshitted my way through highschool and strolled through in college would become my defining art-form. It wasn’t even really a minor…because fashion students weren’t allowed minors. I slipped in as many photography courses in my own time as I could.

I didn’t sleep most days.

Not much has altered in that sense. Only me, and where I am vs. where I planned to be. I planned my entire life when I was 13 one night. Wrote it all down in my diary. Something along the lines of…2 kids, a home in northern Italy, and Brussels, three published novels, and two fashion lines…among other things regarding art and strange particulars. I think the goal age was very reasonable…around 38, or maybe it was 42…some random even number. I’ve always liked even numbers with the exception of 7. I dig sevens. Oh wait! Let’s not forgot the husband! I think I even said he had to be over 6’2, and an athlete or model. Haha. Yes, I did!


My my how some things change…

buy this ♥ hard edge

3.1 PHILLIP LIM – Studded suede wristlet


ACNE – Hybria suede wedge boots


the hole

This was not a Friday for partying. Not with the pain I’m in. Somewhere in the last few hours my body decided it would turn against me. And I’m currently experiencing the most uncomfortable sharp pains along my side and back. Not to mention my wrists and fingers have been giving me shit lately too. Anybody got any WD-40? Maybe that’ll do the trick.

Ok, bitching over.

My mind is a hot-mess of mixed up craziness right now. I’ve been feeling so normal and happy. Not that I don’t still. It’s more the reason behind all of it…anything present tense…has me drawing blanks. My mind is, idk…I think it’s in limbo. I can’t quite figure out what’s going on with “me.” Not enough to diagnose what the deal is. I feel…

I feel like…my mind has locked me out. Outside of itself.

Weird right?

It’s as if I’m in this corridor, standing outside this huge door. I can hear shit banging around on the other side. I can even make out the sounds of voices…but not what they’re saying. I keep pressing my ear up against it trying to distinguish mumbles from actual phrases. Then I step back and peer up at this massive, monstrosity of a door…standing between me…and my internal self.

It’s as if I am blind.

But not quite.

As though I’ve gone deaf.

But not really.

Perhaps all my senses have given out…

But I can grasp, feel, smell and see just fine.

I just don’t know what it is that I’m feeling.

Guess it could be worse, right?

I could be an emotional wreck about this, that, and the other.

You know, the usual.

androgyny lollipop ♥ allegra summerfield

Allegra Summerfield – Modela

Dear dear would you take a look at this beauty….wowza!

closet case ♥ lovely lovely couture

My favorite pieces from the Spring 2011 Couture Shows.

Christian Dior

See the rest of the collection here.

Alexis Mabille

See the rest of the collection here.

Elie Saab

See the rest of the collection here.


See the rest of the collection here.

Bouchra Jarrar

See the rest of the collection here.


See the rest of the collection here.

Jean Paul Gaultier

See the rest of the collection here.


See the rest of the collection here.


Light a match.

Which match?

One of the three over there on the table.

Will you turn on the light?


I can’t see.

It’s straight ahead. Just walk forward.

Will you direct me, at least?

I just did.

Just turn on the light. Please?




Ok, what?

You can’t fucking see.


There, I turned it up a little. There’s enough light.

For who?

You. Now go and light the match.

It’s lit.


Now what?

Put it out.

Then what?



Yeah, nothing.

Then why—–

I just wanted to see if you’d light it.

feed your walls ♥ melissa haslam

Melissa Haslam – Artist, free spirit.
Her blog.