Monthly Archives: December 2010

things i forgot in the wind

I forgot how much I love when doors are opened for me and all that old school loveliness. I hate “roles” but I dig being treated like a lady. Period. But ahhh what I really forgot was how much I love a persistent Woman…until I was just reminded. Or persistent is the wrong word. “Aggressive” maybe is a better word. But that sounds so…aggressive. Hmm. “Forward?”. Damn, whatever…”forward” intentions known. Shit just laid out on the table. Interior exposed.

It’s refreshing.

I’ve gotten so accustomed to either others telling me I keep them strategically closed out…or keeping certain feelings to myself in fear of getting hurt and rejected. Worse than death in my book.

So this change is…welcomed.

I missed just saying…anything. And not having to worry. Even better, I’m glad I actually want to share the personal parts of me again. I was beginning to think I’d turned into one of those self sabotaging girls. Ya know the type…fall for the wrong people on purpose for numerous reasons.

So I’m just glad to see it was a one time situation. That or maybe I’m not used to NOT getting what I want. It makes me irritable and I’m not conditioned to deal with it. 😛

Ha. Don’t you guys love my brain.

I do.

I lost my train of thought and I’m tired as all get up. Must sleeeeep.

Night! Or morning considering the time.

buy this ♥ dark horse

Today’s shopping inspired me again…so here are a couple more favorite things…

Acne Cut Off Blazer.

Buy.

Acne Printed Tapered Trousers.

Buy.

sound and magic ♥ monster video finally!!

So my friend and I have been on this ish for a min….but finalllllly the video dropped! Sort of….It’s an uncut viral release so keep in mind it might get deleted from youtube. Anyways…

Love it…it’s trippy, wacked out…and all around just messed up to watch. Perfection if I don’t say so myself! You have your high fashion blended with twisted zombie vamp imagery and sick as hell verses. I’m not even a big fan of Minaj but I can’t hate cuz Nicki comes hard as hell. And I’m so glad to have a visual to put to this amazing song.

Fav part of Nicki’s verse:

“Young Money is the roster and the monster crew
and I’m all up all up all up in the bank with the funny face
and if I’m fake I ain’t notice cause my money ain’t
let me get this straight wait I’m the rookie
but my features and my shows ten times your pay?
50k for a verse, no album out!
yeah my money’s so tall that my barbie’s gotta climb it…”

sugar high

I did it again.

Blurred that line
Between nursery rhymes
And more than friends.

The ice queen is back
Fuck neglecting the boredom.

I’ve got three little facts
In tact
To keep me from whoring.

At least I won’t be your whore.
But go right ahead and adore.
I won’t stop you while you continue to pour…
Cuz I like sugar
Maybe more then I dig catnip.

And you like my purr…

As much as you like that sip…
You think you’re bound to get.

But baby that’s ok
Long as you know
There’s an expiry date to your trip.

Heaven can have
Only so many soldiers.
And I got a line full of bees
Ready to go to war for this honey.

But you can…

Try me
On
For size.

Word to the wise
You might wanna put your wash
On extended cycle.
Cuz my scent is hard to shake.

I get all up in your molecular space
Kicking up those endorphins
Like you on some kinda steroid crack from outer
outer…space.

It’s that new shit.

Y’all try that new shit?

It’s called Taschka.

And I can’t be giv’n it out like some damn party favor.

So if I were you
I’d savor what you can…

While you can.

Cuz you ain’t staying the night

Oh no
No
Oh no

Maybe you don’t know that yet…
But I won’t let you forget.

Word to the wise…

This shit
Comes regulated
By the national government.

Too much of me will cause a world wide
Epidemic.

A sugar rush
of enormous capacity.

Yeah baby,
I’m that mothafucking sweet.

But you ain’t stayin the night.

In this moment
My sole interest
Is something along the lines
Of inhaling your face.
As fingertips dance along edges
And limbs are misplaced.

Oh, and…

I’ll let you do that thing you do…

Where you take me to that place
Below prerequisites…
Beside adjectives…
Above time space travel equivalents.

Less talk
More action.

Just be sure to fill in the blanks
With lots of P’s and Q’s
And don’t forget to dot your I’s.

While you’re at it
I’ll throw in a few
Yes, please, and thank yous.

But no, you ain’t staying the night.

Not to say I don’t appreciate you.
And all the little things I’m sure
You’re bound to do
For some other girl.
I’m just not interested in being her.

Not yesterday, the day before
Or this time around.

Let’s pretend this is an open house
Grab your bottled water
Finger food
Take a quick look
And don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Oh no.

I’m not trying to wake up
Without my hair on point…
Just to play footsie
In the morning
Like we on the b-side
Of some played R&B joint.

You are not my princess charming
And I will not be Cinderella tripp’n
So better I begin
With your not so happy ending

Then confuse you…

Like I did the rest of ’em.

androgyny lollipop ♥ amelia

Amelia – Modella

Double yum!







buy this ♥ spiked headband

Kickass Spiked Headband.

Buy here.

quick fix

Some things need temporary fixes.

Some people act as temporary fixes.

In a perfect world no person would be regarded as a “fix” nor “temporary” by anyone.

I should hold myself to a higher regard. I should try not to take advantage of women.

Does is count if it’s not intentional?

Am I a liar if I tell someone I’m interested when the more accurate term…might be “bored”?

Even if I never actually tell them a thing…implying is just as messed up. Isn’t it?

Am I an even bigger asshole writing this blog considering it’s the ones I’m the least interested in…that pay the most attention?

The saddest part is I can relate to them. Wanting something that doesn’t really want you back. At least not in the same way. But how do you tell somebody that? “I feel your pain, I was in your shoes…just not about you.”

Awkward.

Yeah. I’m an asshole.

This is why I avoid these situations. The more I stay locked away in my artistic cave the less I have to deal with being sergeant scumbag.

I shouldn’t even be writing right now. I’m supposed to be asleep. Another early ass buttcrack day and here I am still up…and blogging! My brain has the most inconvenient timing. Maybe this is my guilty conscience…not my brain.

Oh and something really amazing happened recently. Or somebody amazing…it seems, maybe…we’ll see…But that’s all I will say…for the minute.

Anyhow…back to this other crapola…

Women know. We know when someone is all there…when someone is present and into them. I’d like to think I do. So I assume that…they…do, too.

“Where are you?” she asked. Funny….the one before you asked me the same thing.

Not here…somewhere else…

Something extraordinary reached inside my chest, ripped out my heart and was holding it hostage. I’m still trying to sew it all back together.

Life would be so much simpler if I could just fall…..for one of them…any of them. For even a day, if I could feel something some how…some way…for someone besides the one I can’t allow in my head.

But…I…am NOT a “simple” woman.

Thank god Jen is in town, cuz I could not deal with this ish on my own. Why did this “stuff” have to follow me to NY. Argghh. I’m not in the mood.

The most fucked up part of popping pills in the form of women…

Is when they know just how temporary a fix they are.

And still they come back.

So really, am I to blame?